Possessed by the Spirit of Perversion?
by Paolo* in Malta
Accepting the fact that you are different from others, and sometimes accepting yourself for who you are may seem like a social struggle. However being told that you are possessed by the spirit of perversion, that’s just psychological madness. This is my story…
I knew that I was different from other boys from a young age, however never questioned it or gave it any importance, at the age of 18 I began to start questioning life and myself, and after considerate thinking, together with evaluating my feelings I realised that I was gay. Although deep down I knew, coming out was a very scary matter as one is always struck by that fear of what’s going to happen next?
When I came out to my mum about my sexuality I must admit she was not expecting this, however she was understanding and told me not to rush into things as this might just be one of the phases which adolescences may go through, and if I were gay she would have no problem with it, as nowadays its normal, however in order for me to find out if this were just a phase or not she soon referred me to a psychologist in Malta where I live.
Upon my first visit she introduced herself and wanted to base the first session by getting to know more about me, my childhood and religion. Prior to my first visit my mum had also briefed her about the great ordeal and trauma which had hit us with the passing of my dad (when I was 15). After asking me several questions, she then asked, ‘so what are your concerns in life? What’s troubling you?’ She continued by asking if this had anything to do with my dad passing away? I replied by saying it was a very traumatising experience, however life must go on. I continued by saying that I am here in order for you to help me figure out if I am gay or if it may just be a phase.
She paused and said, ‘you gay?, not once did it cross my mind that you could be gay, however not to worry’ she added, and she soon reached out for a book which was created by a pastor, whereby she told me to read these prayers, in order for the Holy Spirit to come into me and to basically deliver me from evil, and this was to be discussed in further detail upon my second visit. At that point in time being at such a vulnerable stage I just followed her orders, without any question.
Before I knew it the second visit had arrived, and this was when she dug deep into the subject of homosexuality, saying that our religion does not accept gay people and considers it as being a sinful act, she continued by saying that this can be fixed as gay people are possessed by the spirit of perversion, and this has been proven that by an exorcism the demon can be taken out of you and you would be ‘free to live a normal straight life’, she added by saying not to worry, that this works as an American priest, I believe, has performed an exorcism on a gay couple who had been together for an odd number of years, and by the end of the exorcism these two men turned straight.
At that point in time I was gob smacked, and she had invited me to one of the gatherings which this pastor was going to organise with a bunch of her clients, of course to further go into the subject having a greater effect as one would be hearing this from the mouth of a pastor.
Upon my third visit as she went on about the whole possessed issue and religious acceptance, that for me was the final straw, and I said, ‘I am sorry but who are you to say that god doesn’t accept me?, God accepts and forgives everyone and being gay is not considered as a forbidden sin, and as far as I am concerned I have never stolen, murdered or committed any mortal sin, and I have faith in God and surely I am not possessed and God loves me as I am. After all I am one of his creations!’ and that brought about the end of my third and final visit.
Straight after that I had called my mum, told her with all of the psychologist’s madness, whereby my mum gave her a piece of her mind.
By telling my story all I wish for are three things…
Firstly, people who are meant to give professional advice, must make sure that they know what they are doing, understanding what that person is going through, and before giving any advice, making sure that they have done proper analysis as by giving the wrong information or even nonsense, the amount of damage that they can do on that person is unimaginable, such damage may lead to severe depression and even suicide.
Secondly, what I would love to see happening is for the church to acknowledge that homosexuality forms a great part of the social structure, I know that till this very day people are still living in the shadows, the church must see the fact that being gay doesn’t make one a sinner, all it is, is just being drawn to the same sex, and moreover everyone has the right to be loved, and God himself said that showing love to one another and being loved is the greatest gift on earth.
And thirdly whether one is straight, lesbian, gay, bi, or transgender, this should not stop you from being yourself or for conquering your dreams and no one has the right to ever put you down or discriminate you, as we are all creatures of God and we are all Beautiful.