Beyond Ex-Gay

Dr. Jallen Rix

“Imagine your adult self somehow going back in time and seeing your younger self working through problems, and struggling to figure life’s challenges. What would you say to your younger self? How would you nurture and support your younger self? What would you tell your younger self not to worry about, and could you forgive your younger self for the mistakes made simply because you were doing the best you could with what you were given?”

I’ve thought a lot about this valuable “guided meditation” of time travel, especially in light of attending an ex-gay group for about eight months and how I struggled with my gay sexuality and christian spirituality. My life definitely turned out a lot different than I had anticipated. Most of all, it has become far more adventurous, far more loving, and far more spiritually fulfilling than I would have ever imagined.

Image of Jallen Rix at the Seaside

Here’s some of what I believed while I was in the ex-gay movement (and what I was told by Christian leadership) would happen to me if I accepted my gay sexuality:

Here’s what actually happened:

Photo of Jallen with bandHere’s a few things that really helped...

Jallen Rix holds a Doctorate of Education in Sexology and is Associate Professor at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco. His book, Ex-Gay No Way: Survival and Recovery from Religious Abuse, outlines his journey through the ex-gay world and what he did to recover from it. Contact him at